Spiritual Bonding
by ayamikeage
Summary: DBZ, Gundam Wing, Sailor Moon, Digimon going on retreat?! read Freaky Day.. you'll love this! Crocodile Dundee Matt? Duo vs. Angelina Jolie? Pencil Joe?


_K. I DON'T OWN anime. Nor do I own the cow on the corner of my street. I'm not trying to create a government conspiracy… so please just R&R_

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"Oh my, my, my!" Goku yelled walking into principal and putting on an air in his new Gucci suit, shaking his ass like a bunch of dragon balls. He sits delicately on principal Pikachu's desk. Pikachu listens as the desk starts to creak. 

"Why dear! I know you love my 'plastic/ iron ore' version 34 Gucci outlined dress… size one may I add…" Goku says proudly, modeling the "Kakarot, you dog, walk", a new style of catwalk. ( **sings** _yeah the cat walk… u know what I do_) 

"Pika Pika," Pikachu answers, pulling out a cigar.

"That's 'version', as in French _articulation_! Oh my, before I get carried on, sweet principal Pikachu," Goku says while playing with Mr. Pikachu's tie, " How can you allow the grade 9 class to go on a retreat?! Are you crazy?!"

"Piiiika, piiiika!" Pikachu says angrily as Goku nears him. 

"Sometimes, I just feel like…" Goku explains himself, when all of a sudden a small little air combustion from Goku erupts. "Oh," he says mischievously, as the whole desk collapses under his weight. "Did I do that?"

The grade 9 class goes outside to load their luggage onto the bus. Sora comes with Goten behind her, carrying 24 bags of luggage. 

"Sora! They said to bring 2 bags of luggage!" Pan warns Sora, while holding Wufei's hand. 

Sora laughs, " You can never do without toiletries! You see my legs get a little bit hairy. My doctor explained it as he vacuole in my cell attending to the mitochondria like a submarine sandwich in the big giant Blue or Red Sea of antiplasma!"

Wufei jumps up at Heero and tries to spank him but Pan and Mimi hold him down. 

"You better be careful! Ever since he replaced Sarah Michelle Gellar and became Wufei The Vampire Slayer, he thinks that all the men are vampires!" Mimi explained, happily.

"Joe, Either thata ora Quatre has had a huge influenca ona him, if u knowa what I mean, ona him, and really wants to get downa with ita , you knowa what Ia mean?" the new student named Cody says to his pencil 'Joe.' 

"I'm incredibly spicy! Flex those MUSCLES Baby!" Tai sighs.

"Oh yes you are, baby! Come to me! Your sweet lovely darling! I really want us to get digitally together in holy motel matrimony!!" Kate the obsessed yells, running into the buffed arms of Tai. 

" Kate's back on the scene, Sir! Back up! I NEED BACK UP!!" Matt yells, into his microphone. Vegeta, the ballet/gym teacher, and the only security guard on site prances into view.

"High jumps girl! Twist those chhachahah!" Vegeta screams, taking Kate into a cage and locking her away, with her other crazed friends to be socially and interactively separate. 

"Shut the hell up people!" Duo appears, still stuck in a donut from his previous job at 'Lolita & Sally's Homer.' Supposedly the donut fell down after a slight 'inhuman a sexually active person from Club Super Sexe' humped onto the donut. It automatically fell onto Duo. 

"Students! This is very important, I can't help but stress how much 'how' you're travelling today will be the key question on the final Biology exam!" warns Mr. Karwatskis seriously. 

"How are we travelling there?!" Goten smirks. " A little bit of sugar on my side… a little bit of biology in my mind!"

" Weasel Girls and Boys! Sing along with Goten! Educational! Bravo! Goten! The cerebellum is responsible for intuition! Yes!" Karwatskis says sentimentally, " My young Weasels are learning the physical activity of energetic cells during teenage years! SCAPULA! Maxilla! Wonderful!"

"My I PLEASE stress the fact, how important is that Trowa and Ken's ( a new student) bananas stay preserved and out of car accidental damage!" Jou-chan informs them worriedly. 

"I can never so much agree !" Quatre yells, standing in front of a truck. 

"Yes people," Davis says sarcastically, " You never know, years from now they might land up in 'Ripley's Believe it or not's' wax museum!" 

"_Ladies_," Milliardo appears. 

"I never knew _he_ was coming along!" Rei giggles. 

"Today, due to cut back on school funds, we shall be cutting down on transportation!" he informs the students. 

"Oh, maybe some cut downs on those clothes would do, Ah Ah Ah?" Mina says, appearing from nowhere a little drugged up. 

"RELEASE THE DONKEYS!" Milliardo yells. Van laughs as he yanks the door of the truck open and twenty donkeys walk over Quatre. 

"This is what we get! I might as well fly there!" Trunks says, annoyed.

"Ah! Weirdo! Only birds fly! DO you have wings?" Mimi answers, but her eyes widen suddenly, " Your secret is safe with me! I was wondering why you were so feminine this whole time!" Trunks looks at her weirdly as he sits on Donkey #4

Everyone sits on their donkeys, except for the exceptions: Wufei, Quatre who are strapped down for psychological and physical reasons. To build up speed, each donkey was given some Prozac to get moving. Mina didn't need any, since she'd accidentally taken some thinking that it was special 'Specialized Organic Donkey urine from Egypt', which the cafeteria was selling as a special promotion (hey why not?). 

Finally, when the class arrived, they were introduced to a lovely place on the lake where the nuns resided. 

"Don't you love the lake breeze, how it goes through your hair, how the liquid in your eyes dries up after keeping them open for so long?" Hitomi asks, walking dazily into the lake and disappearing after some final bubbles in the water. 

"Hey, cheer up," Lita tells Van, I think it's something in the air. Oh my god! Love is in the air. Every day… don't you know that song. Wow, I can feel the love!" she jumps on Van and starts making out with him. 

"Can you hold my hand? I need to check the temperature of the water. Perhaps a late night dip shall ease the vampires from attacking me," Wufei asks Relena, afraid that Heero might take out the "Slayer-killing-revolver."

"Sure! Hoky Doky! Poky Loky! Hey it rhymes," Relena says holding Wufei as he puts his pinky in the water. Relena watched as a duck strolls across the ground.

"_Ducky! Ducky_!" she yells, letting go of Wufei's hand, and letting him fall once, as she catches the duck. "Oh my! What a shame, tis not a purple specimen!" She throws the duck at Wufei. " Me go hunt for pink tuna specimen!" She walks off, leaving Wufei helpless. 

Meanwhile, in motel numero 7, Heero is prancing across the bathroom floor.

" Dance Heero, dance!" Ken screams energetically. 

"For the first time in anime! It's gonna start raining men!" Heero exclaims. 

Suddenly a shriek comes out from the next door room. Everyone finds Serena destroying her room to find something and crying out, "For the love of stickiness! These damn band-aids keep comin off! I swear by the love of all factory bugs I shall make idling gudling sure that they STICK!" she turns around and runs after Wufei. 

"Poor Wufei, now he's going to be scared of girls!" Tai sighs. 

Suddenly Matt jumps on Tai's back, wearing jungle clothing. Sora walks up behind with a toaster, _thinking_ it's a video camera and starts taping. 

Matt starts wrapping Tai up in aluminum foil, yelling to him in a fake Australian accent, " This is a big one!" he opens Tai's mouth and shows it to the video camera, and than talks to Tai "you must understand! I'M ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU! HERE MATE! Come and tie this one up!" 

"Thanks Crocodile Dundee!" Kate giggles, grabbing Tai's body and the toaster box to a deserted room. 

"HAIR SPECIMEN! Out of my way!" Relena pushes her way through the crowd, threatening them with a dead pink salmon, " I tell u one touch of this fish, and THAT'S IT! HELLO DRAINIAGE BASIN! You betta not mess with MR. Peanut alfredo! He's in the militairy! The MILITAIRY I TELL YOU! DOG TAGS!" Relena jumps onto Matt's head and starts taking out his hair with tweezers. 

"Mate! My hair! YOU! I just paid $70 for the first gel installment on my hair!" Matt starts crying.

Relena unexpectedly goes for TK's hair and removes his famous hat, but backs away frightened, " IT'S THE BALDNESS FACTOR!" 

"When I was _negative_ 1 years old, during the ultimate passion making of my parents, they were locate next to a peanut gallery and than there was a peanut explosion and than it seeped down the flesh, SEEPED DOWN I TELL YA! Till I lost all my freakin blonde spaghettis through genetic structuring!" TK cried out, taking sympathy from the wall. 

"EVERYBODY MOVE OUT!! DUO'S COMING! " Lita yells.

"Since when is _she_ afraid of a guy? Isn't he still stuck in a donut?" Ken asks the others.

Lita explains, her eyes twinkling. "I sorta ate my way across to get to the sweet part! Apple! It sorta tasted funny! He accidentally rolled down to the Peanut Nuclear Plant!" Lita hit the floor and started hitting her head

Relena's eyes brightened, she picks up her tape recorder " GREEN JELLY SPECIMEN! EXPOSED TO PEANUT RADIOACTIVE DECAY, the ultimate discovery" as she runs off to Duo's room. 

"My dreams are gone! F*** OFF!" Heero cries out, sobbing onto his gun, " there goes my chances to be near Billy Elliot in the ballet _I've got a gun in my spandex. _Why! I've paid my respect to the grass! I've paid respect to the rats! Even tha biggest one, Relena. Now I've lost it! Duo robbed me of my tights! How are the lights gonna shine without all my spandex from Stretchoroma?" Heero walks out from the bathroom wearing only an "Out of Order" sign." "No more undies!" he explains.(his undies r spandex…)

Meanwhile, a loud techno party mix starts to play across the room as Duo comes flying across the room dressed in Heero's spandex and wearing one of Sora's push up bras with kleenex with two bananas attached to his 'shaved' legs. 

Matt and Relena shake their heads. Relena says sympathetically, " Testosterone was always a killer specimen!"

Mimi walks over to Duo and pats him on the shoulder, " I think Trunks is suffering from PMS too, ya better walk over there."

Duo puffs his lips up, " But look! I have tha body, I have tha braid, I have tha bananas. Tomb Raider, pow powwpoww," he starts shooting Cody. " You steal my Papa!"

"Someona pleasa think ofa pencil Joea! He stille has five yearsa to goa to prom! Never knowa what can happena in car seata! Manya baby Joes!"

Serena walks up to Cody, " Insurance! You need insurance! It's not safe for Joe and his pencil girlfriend alone in the back seat!"

Ken agrees and says, "You can never be too right about that! Trojan can assure plasticity!"

Duo jumps on them and kills pencil Joe. 

The muffled voice of Ken can still be heard screaming out, " Satisfaction guaranteed. Trojan Condom at a local private school near you!"

"Hide me!" Goten screams, running into everybody's rooms.

"Open the bag wiener boy!" Trowa yells. 

"SON OF A BAGEL! HE SPEAKS!" Quatre says surprised a mischievous grin on his face. 

Jou-Chan runs into Trowa's arms like in an old fashion Harlequin romance (esh, how would I know, I haven't read any of them). Magically, for some odd reason behind jou-chan's odd mentality, Trowa is now wearing a fireman's uniform (man what the hell was she thinking).

"Cinderella! Cinderella! You looks soooooo fine baby!" Mina smiles at Trowa, " Do you wanna name our son Vodka? Or do you believe Dimitri is better!?" 

Trowa concentrates his anger on Goten who's hiding behind Wufei's legs. Wufei is absolutely maddened by this voluntary action by Goten. 

"Be gone Demon! I ax-orcise you!" Wufei yells, crying, "Feel my acidic holy water tears!" His tears fall onto him… but no reaction.

Jou-chan places Wufei back in his security carriage and rewards him with a lollipop for beating the ~big bad monster~. 

Jou-Chan raises a small stick man figure with a bad impression of Trowa's hair into the air. "I condemn you voodoo maker for voodoo'ing Trowa ~gulp~sex**~ **Barton."

"It was so horrible!" Trowa confesses to the girls investigating the purity of his costume, " I've never been able to speak because Goten had pinned my gundam action figurine! This has put such a delay in my James Bond career! Happy UNVoodoo Day to you all!"

"People it's spiritual time!" Milliardo calls out from downstairs. 

"Oh, how I'd like to share some spiritual bondage with him," Rei says grinning. 

"He's your teacher!" Pan warns her. 

Kate jumps in with Rei in saying their oath, " In the Army National Guard, YOU CAN!" Talk about teacher/student relationships.

Everyone gathers around Milliardo, the math teacher. "Students, at this important time of the year, I can't express the need to enforce my desire for you to do your homework! This year is stressful… but ya'r all gonna fail! Miserably!"

"They've captured him," Serena cries onto Trunks' shoulders, " I hate when teachers tell how miserable the rest of the year will be."

Mimi comforts Serena, " You shouldn't rely on Trunks, he's not what he really seems to be… he has a full feminine side."

"Mimi!! You just revealed my biggest secret!" Trunks sighs and pulls of his wig to reveal his long hair, " I'm a girl!" 

"Thank God!" Wufei gives a joyful dance and hugs Trunks. 

**~**Pan faints**~**

Meanwhile Hitomi walks in soaking wet. 

"How was your trip under the sea?" Van jokes. 

"It's amazing! I just love how the breeze can be felt … but than I got hit by boat with a Tomb Raider on a mission, but an angel fish saved me and granted permission to visit the ocean," Hitomi smiles proud of herself. 

"SIR! Pencila Joe's girlfrienda, Relena's pencil specimena… I thinka she's going into cardiaca arresta!" Cody yells, trying to jump up to Milliardo's height so he could see him. 

"You folly living shorty! Specimen Relena 0.1. Is gonna have a baby specimen in a few minutes!" Relena informs the others. 

"OH my! I don't know how to deliver a baby!!!" Milliardo freaks out, " To the emergency room boys and ladies!" 

"What the hell is up with the Specimens?" Duo asks the others. 

"I shall go to the emergency room and get all the specimens attached to me… and I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!" Relena laughs secretly. 

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Emergency room

The doctor comes out from the room, "She's losing blood! Pencil Relena needs Joe's help!"

Joe goes into the operation room. "Joea what am I gonna do withouta you?" Cody says shaking his head. 

"Onto the plastic surgery room," Relena says to herself. She walks through one of the doctor doors, without looking at the sign: Donation of parts.

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Nine hours later

"Did you hear?" Nurse S_zza says to the students, " Pencil Joe has just delivered to twin mechanical pencils!"

End

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K… I ended it there cause I was getting real fed up. I'm sure u were too… ah well… this is what happens to the characters after their retreat. If you want a continuation, please press 2… joking. … just tell me if u do!

Goku and Pikachu: Goku was charged with sexual harassment towards an alive(have no clue what the hell a pokemon is) creature, filed by principal Pikachu. Pikkapika

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Sora and Matt work together on the Crocodile Dundee show (boy that man is scary) for extracurricular activities. 

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Wufei protests when ~Wufei the Vampire Slayer~ is cancelled and transferred to the Men's sports channel. 

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Ken does his Science fair project on Trojan condoms.

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Kate and Tai I forgot to put Dai in… but this couple spends a night time of pleasure together. However Kate was angered when she found out that the toaster didn't tape it all… was it a one night stand?

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Goten opens a voodoo shop in his backyard… which _Trowa_ eventually burns down.

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Quatre and Mina are locked up in the school to take care of the donkeys because of the school's low budget. 

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Trunks, Pan and _Mimi_ appear on Miss Cleo's international, more than 1-minute commercial, to discuss differences.

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Hitomi and _Serena_ take a visit to the ocean. They later become fish food… but miraculously reappear on the gulf of new-found-land, thinking they've discovered new land. 

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Mina helps _Heero_ in regaining money to buy more spandex. The start a spandex hotline… 1-800-spandex. 

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Lita helps _Duo_ to try out for the key role in Tomb Raider… but Angelina Jolie… wins… by a bit.

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Relena… part of her brain was removed… and the specimens started the Monkey disease. However, it didn't kill this grandmother of the mechanical pencils, and the mother of pencil relena. _Cody_… or rather Pencil Joe has served _Relena_ with divorce papers. 

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The teachers… they schedule the homework calendar to wonderfully corrupt the students' minds.

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Thanx. I'm gonna be writing a author fic… with anime… if u wanna be in tell me… give e-mail address!!! BLAH!


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